August 30, 2012

Not So Funny ... Girl, I Need People !

I was googling & stumbled on a piece of dialogue from "Funny Girl" about the differences in people & it got me thinking... uh oh!

Nick: I like to feel free.
Fanny: You can get lonesome being that free. 
Nick: You can get lonesome being that busy.

OMG, is there a difference between being free & feeling lonesome, or being busy & feeling lonesome? Hmmmm, you can be lonely anyplace. As for me, being free or being busy, I am lonely in Suburbia, but I never felt lonely in NYC. There's a difference between living a slow relaxed pace here & living a desolate life.

While living in NYC I was constantly surrounded with energy, something was always happening. Most locals were jaded by it all, but I was like a kid in a candy store that just thrived. I loved it... the crowds, the tall buildings, the Highline, the Hudson River Park, Central Park, Broadway Shows, the movies being filmed, the restaurants, the neighborhoods, the diversity!!! Ahhhhhh, LIFE! Cést si bon.

Anyway, I thought moving to Suburbia would be more relaxing for me & would be a change for the better. It turns out I was dead wrong... as in dead quiet... as in there aren't even sidewalks to roll up & forget about eating out after 8 pm. Okay, there are a few sidewalks, but hardly anyone walks on them. I miss walking on the sidewalks of NYC & the constant interaction with people. It's a car community here & they drive everywhere. There is a drive thru for everything from cleaners to fast food to pharmacies... They do "hike" out here, but they hardly ever walk! 

The relaxing vibe I thought I was looking for out in Suburbia has become my enemy. The morning crows that wake me are like a knife thru my heart... I prefer the occasional city car alarm going off. At least ya know someone is out there. The sound of a crowd of crazy crickets at night are more annoying to me than any sound of club music reverberating thru the neighborhood from a night club. Would you rather dance to J Lo in the background or crazy crickets trying to get laid?

The scenery in Suburbia is beautiful, but so was the view from our rooftop over the Hudson... even if the West view was the Jersey skyline, where the chemicals create intense lovely sunsets. So my point is that the grass may always be greener, but sometimes green is not what you need, perhaps it's just "People." And I am one of those people who need people.

August 21, 2012

" Kharma Could Bite You in the Ass " In Suburbia

This post is about Kharma, you know,"present actions determine their destiny for future existence" or "what goes around comes around". Or maybe it's just a theme in my life that keeps repeating until I learn the lesson? I dunno, anyway as you may remember from my last post I am a city child & was not exposed to many bugs or wildlife. (Okay, maybe a cockroach or two or some crazy "wildlife" on the subway). I never liked getting dirty & if I ever got food on my clothes I would change my entire outfit (well, some things never change).  

When I was living in NYC I was enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training & Certification Program. One of the requirements needed to get my teaching degree was to go to a retreat at an Ashram in Upstate New York. It was only an hour away from NYC, but seemed like a world away to me. I was terrified of going for a long weekend to the country for the "natural" experience. The name of the Ashram meant "Bliss", but for me, it meant "Misery". I almost backed out at the last minute, but I was determined to conquer my fears & go with the flow. Haaa - famous last words!

I do not or cannot go to fancy five star resorts, but upon arriving at the Ashram I knew this was really, really rustic, with a capital R! It looked like a cliché - musty, dusty & way too funky! There were cobwebs, bugs, deer, geese, bear, no air conditioning, poor plumbing & shared bedrooms with shared baths! The schedule was early to bed, early to rise, lots of studying, training, teaching & helping with our Kharmic Yoga duties around the Ashram. The cafeteria style food was only Vegan (of course) which was served in a communal room near our cabins.

One day, we actually had one hour to ourselves after breakfast, so I darted back to the cabin to shower & try to compose myself. I also had to use the bathroom really bad! Walking alone hesitantly down the dirt path in the woods back towards the cabin, I noticed a large deer standing right at the front door blocking me. Oh shit... what was I gonna do? I looked around & also saw a baby deer nearby. Uh oh, I knew I was in trouble, so I hid behind a bush. I called a friend on my cell phone & asked for help - as if they could help me in the woods!!! (BTW, phones were NOT allowed for the entire retreat). After many failed attempts to get in that door by jingling my keys & making sounds, the deer casually made an exit. I charged into the cabin in a sweat, swearing I would never return to the country again. This is soooo NOT for me!

Fast forward & here I am living in Suburbia amongst wildlife being surrounded by all my fears! Am I a masochist or just a verrry slow learner? I shouldda learned from that experience that I am STILL not a country boy... maybe that was my lesson. Or maybe it's Kharma biting me in the ass, just like a goose bit me in the ass as a child when it tried to grab my Oreo. But that's another story!