Friend: Are you kidding me? Fine. Really?
Me: Yeah, I'm trying to be positive. I'm fine.
Friend: You're full of it, that's not you. You always say how you feel! (Pause) What's wrong?
Me: Okay, you're right.
Friend: Fine is NOT acceptable.
Me: I know, I know. I hate that word. I think it's the first time I ever used the word fine to describe anything. What was I thinking? It's a horrible word.
Friend: I know, right?
Me: Absolutely! I am not fine. I feel terrible. I'm upset. I'm pissed off the play didn't make the final cut and I haven't slept much the last few nights. I've been a raving bitch and that's not even the half of it! Fine? F*ck FINE. It's a four letter word and I will never use it again to describe my feelings or answer a question.
Friend: Thank you, my sentiments exactly.
Me: Thanks for listening, you know me too well. Enough about me, how are you doing?
Friend: Oh thanks for asking. I'm really fine.
Me: No you're really a bitch.
Friend: Yeah, a fine bitch! Gotcha.
Me: So, talk to you tomorrow and I promise no more four letter words.
Friend: Really? Since when? I wouldn't know you any other way.
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