My theory is Suburbia represents conformity & I have always hated to conform rebelling in one way or the other. There's another layer to this though... it's because I'm getting older. I feel like I'm giving up on myself & many of my dreams by trying to "settle in" & be just like everybody else!!! This has never worked for me in my entire life, why would it work now?
As I continue my self analyzation, I am realizing what is important to me & who is important to me. Shopping in large department or box stores is NOT important to me. Eating dinner at five or six does NOT work for me. Being surrounded by nature is NOT that important to me, & by nature I mean country - mountains, animals, bugs. I am a Neurotic Native New Yorker, gimme a break with the trails & the hikes & the "PC" BS! I'm all for "natural" products, but there IS hair color & make up. Casual clothing can look & feel great, but NOT Hawaiian shirts, shorts or cargos & flip flops at night time!!! Okay,okay, breathe in the positive, breathe out the negative. Phewww!
What is MOST important to me is knowing that I am where I want to be & can survive independently... now or ten years from now. Many of you who have not been to NYC may not believe it, but for me, NYC really has a small town feel with all of its different neighborhoods being their own "town." All are walkable & have many forms of public transportation to get around - not solely dependent on driving a car. It's just more convenient & easier to meet up with friends & even see familiar faces on the streets, because there are streets & you can walk! There are always places open that you can go to at almost anytime of the night... & let's not forget about real theatre, only in NYC. I have Broadway withdrawal & I need my fix!
So, I've come to the realization that I don't agree with the Suburban attitude. I have tried for some time, but my heart, soul & energy is pure NYC - the city that never sleeps & loathes conformity... just like me!
My goal is to move back somehow, someway, someday & return home as soon as I can. I've repeatedly tried clicking my heels, but it's still not working. Where's Glinda when you need her? Oh, that's right... she's in NYC on Broadway!
What is MOST important to me is knowing that I am where I want to be & can survive independently... now or ten years from now. Many of you who have not been to NYC may not believe it, but for me, NYC really has a small town feel with all of its different neighborhoods being their own "town." All are walkable & have many forms of public transportation to get around - not solely dependent on driving a car. It's just more convenient & easier to meet up with friends & even see familiar faces on the streets, because there are streets & you can walk! There are always places open that you can go to at almost anytime of the night... & let's not forget about real theatre, only in NYC. I have Broadway withdrawal & I need my fix!
So, I've come to the realization that I don't agree with the Suburban attitude. I have tried for some time, but my heart, soul & energy is pure NYC - the city that never sleeps & loathes conformity... just like me!
My goal is to move back somehow, someway, someday & return home as soon as I can. I've repeatedly tried clicking my heels, but it's still not working. Where's Glinda when you need her? Oh, that's right... she's in NYC on Broadway!
Wow, I liked the analogy of using therapy & Freud's "Civilization and It's Discontents". Very clever and good to know you have a plan. Be happy, that's all that matters.
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