August 15, 2014

Suburbia Gave Me Syphillis?

Okay thought the title "Suburbia Gave Me Syphillis" would get your attention... it got mine too. You see I've been having ongoing lower leg pain and went to the doctor to see what the hell was wrong. Syphillis was one of the possible diagnosis I got from one of the many doctors I saw. You may have Syphillis, you may have Lyme disease, you may have MS, you may have a severe muscle spasm or your nerves may be shot. You lack certain vitamins and you may not eat right, so you need a nutritionist. You don't walk right, so you need a podiatrist. You have bad genetics, so you need a holistic doctor. You have poor circulation, so you need a cardiologist. You have a family history of crazy, so you need a neurologist and  definitely... a psychiatrist. 

Overall consensus... Ummm, we're really not sure what's wrong, but we need more tests. WTF? What I need is an answer or at least a big martini or two! Then another doctor told me perhaps I'd be happier if I moved the f*ck outta Suburbia! No shit Dr. Sherlock, I didn't need all these doctors to tell me that all I really need is a good real estate agent!

I don't have Syphillis after all... big surprise! And I'm still looking for an apartment in NYC as I sip my martinis going thru the real estate section with a large side of ice... on my legs! So much for the doctors.

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