Since starting "nyc2suburbia" I've talked about my transition of moving from NYC to Suburbia. "My Suburbia" is in Northern California, so it's not just a transition to Suburbia (I did live in the burbs back East for a few years) but also a transition to the West Coast. For me, the move has been an overwhelming culture shock as you may know from my posts & many complaints. (Yes, I'm admitting that I like to complain).
I've never intended to "put down" Suburban life, just express my feelings about how I prefer city life. Unfortunately, I haven't "embraced" all Suburbia has to offer & I know it. Simply put I am not a "nature" person... that just ain't me. I don't like camping, hikes or hugging trees. Grant it, I've "camped" ever since I can remember, I've been told to "take a hike" by many & the closest I've come to "hugging a tree" in NY was when I was forced to relieve myself in public by a tree! (Too much info, oh well - that's me). I do appreciate & enjoy the beauty here in California, but I'm a city guy, what can I say? I'm a night person, I'm a people person. I need diversity, fast wit, subways & buses or any form of public transportation. I cannot stand the PC mentality out here!!! WTF? I've noticed a definite delay in audience reactions when attending theatre or even when seeing comedians perform. Whatever happened to laughing out loud when something was soooo bad, distasteful or just too damn funny whether it was PC or not? Gimme a f*cking break!
Before moving cross country I had the stereotypical idea of living in California most NYers have... sunshine, beaches, palm trees & a hip vibe. Oh well, living here burst that bubble, baby! There are seasons, there aren't many palm trees & "hip" just ain't happening here in Suburbia. Restaurants close at ungodly early hours & being "natural" is taken to the extreme... hello hair coloranyone? Phewww, okay I obviously still have some issues, but at least I own a mirror or two!
I'm adding another layer to "nyc2suburbia" with a different twist. You see I am from NYC & my husband is from Suburbia, we basically moved back to his hometown (for now) so it has come full circle for him. Fortunately he shares my love of city life & also misses NYC. I'll tell ya about the both of us growing up in two totally different worlds. It will hopefully make you laugh when you understand the difference between us & yet the similarities that we share. Think of it as the old sitcom "Green Acres" gone Gay - "Green GAYcres". This idea of our life as "Green GAYcres" has helped keep me "sane" since moving here & please no comments about my level of sanity...
If you receive the blog by email you may be unable to view the video below. It's a short intro of Green Acres, here's the link: http://youtu.be/DrbPAt1_vc4
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Displaced New Yorker? nyc2suburbia Commuter? If U love NYC, Suburbia OR both, our products are for you! Survive with your unique Style, $ense & Sanity with nyc2suburbia products.
Displaced New Yorker? nyc2suburbia Commuter? If U love NYC, Suburbia OR both, our products say it all! Survive both places with your unique Sanity, $ense & Style while wearing nyc2suburbia products.
Looking out the airplane window staring into the blackness of the sky, I start to get very anxious. The feeling is what I feel every day back in Suburbia... the anxiety, the isolation, the constant unknown. OMG I don't hear any show tunes in this entry - not a good sign for me! After many delays due to the weather & the airline (no names mentioned) we are on the plane returning to where we live. I feel like a child having to go to a dentist appointment. I do not want to return to Suburbia. There doesn't seem like there's anything there for me... especially now that my mother has died. I'm now ready to move on with my life & back home to NYC - friends, family & familiar places. I wanna leave the "early to bed & early to rise" car society of Suburbia behind me.
This trip back to NYC was unlike any other we've experienced. We had a long time to enjoy everything we love about the city & yet we weren't feeling up to it, WTF? It was a trip to bring Mama's ashes back home & to bury her. We promised to give her a tour of her city & visit some of the places that were special. We brought her urn on a final tour to the apartment where she was born & all the places she lived... even the nursing home. Then there were some of her favorite spots - Times Square, Hudson River Park, her manicure shop & her favorite diner. We enjoyed taking her on her tour, bringing her urn that we decorated (check out the photo)going from place to place, but it was emotionally exhausting for us. The following day, Douglass & I just collapsed & stayed inside. Once again we had given all our attention & energy to Mama, WTF? It was the last time we could do this, so that's what we did! That evening we ordered Chinese take-out (very NYC) as we stared out the window of our friends apartment overlooking the city that's so full of life.
Fast forward a few weeks & we're returning back to Suburbia. As the plane begins to touch down I feel a familiar knot in my stomach. I've a feeling we're not in the Emerald City anymore. Thanks for visiting, please spread the word & "Follow"! Facebook -facebook.com/nyc2suburbia Twitter -twitter.com/nyc2suburbia Displaced New Yorker? nyc2suburbia Commuter? If U love NYC, Suburbia OR both, our products say it all! Survive both places with your unique Sanity, $ense & Style while wearing nyc2suburbia products. Click Here to Buy nyc2suburbia Hoodies & Tees
On the first day, God created the heavens & the earth. “Let there be light” He said & there was light. God saw that it was good. He did NOT rest on the 7th day as most people think. He created NYC & it wasn't good... it was fabulous! Now, He was finally able to rest because He created the "Center of the Universe."
So, here I am returning to the center of the universe & I feel like I’m from another planet. Why is it that every time I come home to NYC I feel like a kid in a candy store? Then I begin to doubt myself, did I loose my swagger? Am I gonna still fit in? Am I still hip? Do I know the 411? Can I survive the big bad city?
You bet your ass I can... I'm home, damn it!
My swagger & confidence pick up as I feel the wheels of our plane touch down. I immediately have a grin on my face. Curbside at the airport, gypsy cab drivers approach me & I tell them, no thanks... I know where I'm going. I can spot a con when I see one, so don't play me, I'm a native New Yorker. We're now in a legit yellow cab headed to NYC & I start to see the tall buildings & bright lights getting closer. My heart beats faster as I start to feel alive & smile. In fact, I feel like a grinning idiot seeing the big city for the first time.
I may live in the Suburbs for now, but it always feels so good to be home in NYC. Dorothy sure knew what she was talking about when she said "there's no place like home". That was the name plate we had on our apartment door in NYC & it's still in my wallet... near my heart. I totally agree with Ed Koch (former NYC Mayor) who said "Have you ever lived in the suburbs? It's sterile. It's nothing. It's wasting your life."
The big bad city? Not at all!!! And for those that say it, they’ve obviously never lived here. This is home & it's the center of the universe to me. I love it & I thank God that He didn't rest on the 7th day.
Recently I've learned that the philosophy behind grieving is that it's "a normal reaction to a loss". At least that's what "they" say in my book about grieving. You may know from my other blog (Dementia-Mama-Drama) I'm going through the grieving process with Mama & her rapid decline - she has Dementia & Myelodysplasia.
I've realized that since moving to Suburbia, grieving ain't just for dying. I finally understand that I've been going through another kind of grief, the grief of leaving my city, NYC. I now see the common thread of holding on & letting go, whether it's someone or somewhere that you love dearly. I just gotta take it one day at a time & try to deal with it as best as I can.
Mama & I always speak of "going home" & I realize they're two totally different, yet comforting & loving places. For her, it's "somewhere over the rainbow" & for me it's returning to my rainbow... NYC.
I thought for this entry I'd write less & share more through my photos of NYC vs Suburbia. After all, a picture is worth a thousand words, so I'll let my photos do the talking.
Looking over this years blog entries, I asked myself who the hell am I & what am I writing about? Does it make any sense? Does it flow? What is my voice? What is my brand? "Enough is Enough" already... "I Am What I Am". Hmmm, sounds like very familiar songs! I write about things that are going on in my life or things that affect me. It started to make sense because after all, we're all a work in progress, right? It makes sense to me coz its coming from me, I just wanna help you understand where I'm coming from. You already know that I'm fromNYC & am living in Suburbia now, right? Good!
In January, I wrote about Joplin, in February about Whitney, in March it was about my Mama meeting Liza, in April it was Barbra's 70th birthday & about me meeting her. Recently I explained to you that I write two blogs, (the other one is Dementia-Mama-Drama) about another strong lady in my life, my Mama who has Dementia & Leukemia. Oh, okay, so one theme is that I wrote about strong women.I've shared stories about my neurosis including how I don't like the "relaxing natural setting" of Suburbia & that I'm terrified of wildlife. I know I don't live in the jungle, but coming from the city, it IS wildlife to me! I shared my experience about being bullied in Suburbia & how it doesn't only happen to kids! I was also able to finally share my experience about living thru 9/11 in NYC. I was excited to be asked to be a guest blogger & interviewer at The Women's Power Strategy Conference (strong women once again) & wrote about it. This year I was published in a book commemorating Streisand's fifty years in show biz called "Barbra Memories". About time I was published, right? Well, that's who I was in 2012...
I'm one of those people who doesn't like to say "next year has gotta be better." Shit happens & great things happen - without one I may not be able to enjoy the other. It's all a balance, a Yin/Yang thing. I've learned a lot about myself within the last year & hope to learn even more next year, "That's Life." Oy another song reference, sorry.nyc2suburbia - whatta trip & whatta year! Thanks for taking the time to be part of my journey & letting me share it with you. I wish you a positively perfect 2013. Thanks for visiting & please spread the word. "Follow" me already! Whaddya waitin' for? Facebook -facebook.com/nyc2suburbia Twitter -twitter.com/nyc2suburbia
The journey from nyc2suburbia is not only about my journey. There are two others that have made the move ~ my husband & Mama. For those of you who may not know, I've been writing two blogs for the last few years. Both blogs are very different although there is a consistency to them, after all I'm not totally schizo. It can be challenging, but it allows me to share both sides of my world & I enjoy the diversity of both blogs.
When I first started writing nyc2suburbia, it was intended to be my outlet. I wanted to share my transition of moving from NYC across the country to living in Suburbia. My husband & I also brought my mother with us to Suburbia & continue to be her caregivers. There were many reasons which led to our decision to move from NYC. A big one was that Mama's nursing home was closing, so we decided we'd all move out to Suburbia & live happily ever after... that's the "Movie" version. Mama & I are from NYC & my husband is originally from the town that we moved to in Suburbia. But he considers himself a New Yorker after living there for many years.
Shortly after moving to Suburbia, I started blogging about it. A year later we had an unexpected birth & another blog was born Dementia-Mama-Drama. It's about our journey with Mama (who has Dementia) but with a humorous twist. After all, ya gotta make the best of a bad situation & laughter can be the best "medicine" - along with therapy & medication! We wanted to show how Dementia can be humorous & how we deal with it on a daily basis. Our blog has become a form of therapy for the three of us along with helping to bring awareness to Alzheimer's, Dementia & Caregivers. The Alzheimer's Association has even invited me to guest blog for them this year & has shared many videos of Mama. Mama loves the attention from the blog & the fact that people are reading about her. We've actually created a MONSTER!!! She looks forward to singing on camera & answering our questions, it's become our nightly ritual. We share many of our photos, conversations & her videos on our blog & YouTube ~ she's the Multi-Media-Mama! Below is a video we put together showing us leaving NYC & arriving in Suburbia. If you're unable to view it, the YouTube link is http://youtu.be/cXfnPpzPe0U
On both blogs, I may sometimes write about overlapping themes & situations (like I said I'm not totally schizo.) Plus it can show two different perspectives on a similar situation. When I was finally able to write about my experience with 9/11 on one blog, I also wrote about Mama's perception of 9/11 on the other blog.
Then there are similarities ... between Mama & me! Oh, did I just say that? Yep... & there's proof (big groan). Since moving to Suburbia my mantra has been "I wanna go home." Mama has been saying "I wanna go home" for years, but that is pretty common for Dementia patients. Does this mean I am headed down the same road or just the fact that "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree?" Oy, questions, questions & more questions.
Whatever the answer, every day continues to be an emotional roller coaster ride for me. I am trying to make the most out of Suburbia by holding onto my sanity, sense & style while being a caregiver for Dementia Mama Drama. Did I hear the word martini? Or maybe it was chocolate? Or maybe it was breathe? Well, ya gotta do whatcha gotta do. It's been a tough adjustment for me & I am very vocal about it... just like Mama has always been vocal about her feelings.
As I mentioned, Mama & I have always been very similar, which can be pretty scary - especially for my husband! We are both night owls, we love singing, we love musicals, we're very impatient & neurotic, we're obsessed with food & we love to curse. Unfortunately we both share the need to be surrounded by family & friends which has probably been the most disappointing & depressing thing about moving to Suburbia.
Mama hates the isolation & lack of activity at the nursing home. I hate the isolation & lack of activity in Suburban life, so once again we are "two peas in a pod." But we're all getting through the drama one day at a time... by singing, eating, playing cards, exercising & enjoying our time together forming an even closer bond. Okay, that's the "Movie" version again, somedays it's just really difficult & that's my reality. But my reality also includes the patience of my husband who gets entertained & sometimes overwhelmed by the two of us... we are a handful! Writing BOTH blogs has been very therapeutic & I'm so glad we're able to show people that we're all in this together.
The list of similarities goes on, the drama continues, but I'll end this post for now & you can continue to follow either OR both blogs: nyc2suburbia & Dementia-Mama-Drama. Thanks for your time & your comments are always appreciated... it really helps! For me, two blogs are better than one! Please note that is you are receiving our blog via eMail, you may be unable to view the videos, so please visit us at www.nyc2suburbia.com & enjoy the videos.
People say that you can never go home again. Well, maybe "Some People... but some people ain't me " & they ain't Barbra Streisand either! We both returned "home" this month.
I return to NYC as often as my frequent flyer miles allow or whenever friends offer us their apartment. It helps keep me sane, almost like I'm living bicoastal instead of living bipolar inSuburbia!!!
Whenever I return home to NYC, I get anxious that maybe I'm not going to "fit in" anymore. Perhaps I may have lost my "street smarts", ya know my "swagger", my New York rhythm & attitude. I am sooo happy to say that it hasn't happened yet - I still got it... and so does Barbra!
I have never been to a Streisand concert & even though I am not a fanatic, I'm still a fan. It was an extremely emotional night for me. Who wouldda thunk? After all, I did meet her & that was a "one on one" experience, but this was a totally different feeling. She was actually singing live! OMG, she still has some "set of pipes" to quote my mother. Being surrounded by her fans & hearing the songs that have always been a part of my life was almost too much to handle, Oy vey! Such a magical event.
We also came back to NYC because a story I wrote about meeting Barbra was included in a new book "Barbra Memories" byAlly Waldman. It coincided with Barbra's Brooklyn concerts & commemorates her 50 years in show biz. Of course we went to the book signing & took a photo with Ally & met so many great people.
The skinny girl with a big nose from Brooklyn & the fat boy with big eyes from da Bronx both returned Home. The Brooklyn girl, the Bronx boy... but like I always say, the Bronx, Brooklyn, Jewish, Italian... it's all the same in NYC.
The day after the concert, while buying some bottled water, green juice & yogurt at Trader Joe's, a worker asked if I was a tourist. I asked her why she would say that & she said because I was smiling, happy & relaxed. It caught me by surprise & I started to laugh. I said... No, it's because I'm home! And ..." everything's as if we've never said goodbye..."
Thanks for visiting & spread the word."Follow"me already! Whaddya waitin' for?
Since starting "nyc2suburbia" I've talked about my transition of moving from NYC to Suburbia. "My Suburbia" is in Northern California, so it's not just a transition to Suburbia (I did live in the burbs back East for a few years) but also a transition to the West Coast. For me, the move has been an overwhelming culture shock as you may know from my posts & many complaints. (Yes, I'm admitting that I like to complain).
I've never intended to "put down" Suburban life, just express my feelings about how I prefer city life. Unfortunately, I haven't "embraced" all Suburbia has to offer & I know it. Simply put I am not a "nature" person... that just ain't me. I don't like camping, hikes or hugging trees. Grant it, I've "camped" ever since I can remember, I've been told to "take a hike" by many & the closest I've come to "hugging a tree" in NY was when I was forced to relieve myself in public by a tree! (Too much info, oh well - that's me). I do appreciate & enjoy the beauty here in California, but I'm a city guy, what can I say? I'm a night person, I'm a people person. I need diversity, fast wit, subways & buses or any form of public transportation. I cannot stand the PC mentality out here!!! WTF? I've noticed a definite delay in audience reactions when attending theatre or even when seeing comedians perform. Whatever happened to laughing out loud when something was soooo bad, distasteful or just too damn funny whether it was PC or not? Gimme a f*cking break!
