July 14, 2013

Happiness ... look no further than your own backyard

Old, but new... I love New York City, this is not news to many of you. But what I discovered about myself this time ( just like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz ) is that happiness can be found in your own back yard, or in my case within myself.

On my most recent trip to NYC, I put "my expectations" on people & as a result was feeling sad & let down by them. It's the same expectations that I put on many in Suburbia. I guess the problem lies within me... NOT where I am. I get disappointed all the time & nothing's ever good enough. Maybe it's all about control - think Barbra Streisand writing, directing & acting! It gets frustrating & overwhelming.

Sometimes ya just gotta stand back & look at the big picture & figure out what's most important. I always thought friends & family were the most important thing for me but I hardly ever got back the same effort I put out. I constantly set myself up for disappointment. Now my priorities have changed & I'm realizing that "I Am My Own Best Friend".

Suburbia can be too quiet, with too many bugs, too many animals, too few friends, too many restaurants that close too early & of course too much driving. But NYC can be too noisy, too smelly, too hot, too humid, too cold & always has too much damn construction! WTF? Yes, it's true I finally said something negative about NYC.

My inability to be happy lies within me & NOT where I live. Ain't nothing gonna make me happy but me! At least I didn't have to get caught in a twister to find that out, but the last few years have felt like I've been hit hard by a hurricane.

I don't have sequined shoes (yet) but I do have red high top sneakers & they are very worn out from clicking my heels too often. Don't get me wrong, I love the freedom, the flexibility & the heart of NYC, but it's just getting more challenging to meet up with friends or family. Maybe it's their obsession with their jobs, or the fact that some have children, or that others have become too inflexible to make any plans.

Well, it is what it is & "I Am What I Am" (yes I'm quoting Broadway show tunes again). Just like Pippin, I'm still trying to find my "Corner of the Sky" & realize "Day by Day" that I never needed to look any further than my own back yard... wherever the hell that is!

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