January 12, 2014

What A Dump !

I cannot believe what I actually did tonight. Furthermore I can't even believe that I'm gonna share it with you, but I've never been one to keep things to myself. Okay, I joined forces with the rest of the Suburbanites out here and did something many of them do. I couldn't believe how many of them did this and I'd constantly make fun of anyone who did.

THE DUMP
First of all, I was not talking on my cell phone, texting or drinking while driving - that infuriates me and I get crazy when I see that! But what I did I'm almost embarrassed to share, especially for a native New Yorker who loves to walk. I DROVE the car 126 feet from the driveway to pick up the mail and throw out the garbage. OMG, I said it out loud, I may delete this. What the hell came over me? What was I thinking?  I've stooped to an all time low. Who am I? I may have to even turn in my Gay card and never mention Green Acres Gone Gay (GAGG) again. What've I done? This is not fabulous behavior.

THE MAIL
In my defense it was not premeditated. As I started to walk outside in the cold stillness of the early evening, I thought that I heard an animal. I immediately thought I was gonna be attacked. (I think this many times when I walk outside). I thought it was a bear, a killer deer or that "friendly" burglar who has been spotted in our community (the community is so PC they actually call it a "friendly" burglar - WTF?) Nevertheless I got my ass in the car so fast and drove 126 feet to throw out the garbage and pick up the mail. I am and will always be totally embarrassed on so many levels... and whatta disappointment. The mail was all junk and as for the garbage... like Bette Davis said "What a dump".


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