Birthdays & Surprises in NYC

So much for surprises! I was finally leaving Suburbia to go back home to NYC for a visit! Yeahhhhh... I thought it would've been fun to surprise a few friends for their big "special" birthdays. Boy, was I wrong - very, very wrong.

After booking the trip, I found out one of our friends was leaving town to celebrate her birthday in Florida. Then, my best friend was leaving town to celebrate his birthday in Rhode Island! I became paranoid & neurotic. This was not the plan! What do I do now? I didn't want to over analyze the situation, but perhaps my friend wasn't placing as much importance on his birthday as I was? Ok, ok... I'm thinking too much. But then again I used all my reward miles to make the trip.

In addition to this, I was needing my Broadway fix & one of the shows on my list was "Evita" with Ricky Martin & HE was even leaving town to film for a few days. (Ok, now I just don't know what's going on. WTF?) Oh, did I mention that another good friend was leaving the East Coast to visit a friend on the West Coast - thank  God we were gonna be able to catch him for at least a drink before he left!

So, maybe the lesson to learn from this trip is to see what it's like to be back home in NYC without most of our friends. Yeah, that's it. Well, ya deal with it. We booked three shows & no matter what, we can have a few drinks & NOT have to drive. We'll be able to see other friends that work in our favorite restaurants & we're "home" dammit! It's Summertime in the Big Apple - Hot & Humid! 

I know it was a very last minute decision, & we'll have another new experience, yet I feel somewhat guilty that we didn't tell anyone we're back in NYC. But, wow, a new experience in our old town. Broadway, bright lights, late nite restaurants, walking... NO driving! Sounds pretty darn good to me! I did get a surprise though... we managed to get tickets to see Ricky Martin in "Evita" in his final show before his vacation. A surprise? I think not, for me anything is possible in NYC!!!

"Whatta Load" at Home Depot

So, I was in the outdoor section of Home Depot the other day (I start a lot of my blog entries as if I'm telling a joke), but for those who know me... it IS a joke that this city guy is actually living in suburbia. I have learned to laugh at myself a lot & would like to share this with you.

Okay, so like I was saying, I was at the outdoor section of Home Depot & was strolling leisurely looking at the plants & flowers. There are a lot of birds & they are not the cute little chirping birds - they are prehistoric killers! They are big, loud & frightening. (Oh, did I say I have a phobia with birds?) Minor detail, but yes I have a phobia with birds. Okay, breathe & focus on the pretty flowers. I am bigger than the birds. I will be brave & overcome this fear. La-de-da here I am admiring the flowers when BAM!!! A bird swooped down & smacked me on the back of my head. I screamed, left the cart & ran inside.

I find my husband in the store & tell him what happened. Of course he laughs & says go back outside & get the cart so we can leave. I tell him "NO WAY"-  you get the cart. He wants to leave, so he goes outside & I unwillingly follow behind him watching the birds circle for their next victim. As he gets the cart & makes his way back to the inside of the store, WAIT FOR IT... a bird swoops down & smacks him!!! Hahahhaaa, I am hysterical, coz he didn't believe me & now it happened to him. OMG, I think I just wet myself thinking about it! Sorry, too much information.

As if the entire scenario so far is not enough reason for a double martini, I gather myself inside as we look at one final item. BTW,  I am wearing an off white jacket, off white jeans & a white tee shirt. We are in the aisle finishing up our browsing & I begin to hear some action above us. You got it, there are more birds INSIDE! Really? WTF??? I cannot believe it. Okay, okay, so I take a few steps back to look at the selection on the shelf & just as I moved backward two steps, this really loud disgusting plop lands where I was standing & just missed me. Get it? This big bad bird was aiming his business at me & would've gotten his target had I not moved. It was a large & loud load - I didn't think that could come out of a bird! Two of the store clerks asked if we were okay & said that they never saw or heard anything like that before... they couldn't believe what a dump! We left the store after finally catching our breath & trying to gather my last bit of dignity.

For me, Home Depot will never be the same & I think of it every time I shop at the store. City boy confronting fears? Sounds like a load of sh** to me. And yes, I had a double martini when I got home.

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My First Beach in California

Most of my East Coast friends have a preconceived idea about California. California, ALL of California, is full of palm trees, nonstop sunshine, warm weather & many other clichés that go with it. Well some of them are true, but...

I have been living in a suburb of Northern California (near San Francisco) for almost three years & the weather (for me) is not that much different from NYC. I still wear scarves & gloves, but it's more of a fashion accessory - besides it's a car culture! Seriously, there are differences, but both climates are similar to me... a little thing called global warming, ya know. There are many micro climates & the temperature does fluctuate from the morning until the night. There are frosts, freezing cold days & snow only in the mountains. There aren't many humid days, but we do have them occasionally. I still complain that it gets cold here & how could it? After all, I am in California!!!

I am happy to say I finally did go to a beach recently. My first beach experience since living out here! I knew there were beaches, but I was starting to ask where do they hide them? We took a ride to Stinson Beach riding upon the winding roads that eventually lead you to the beach. Wow! My first California beach! It was beautiful & just a little chilly. I almost felt as if I was back home with my memories of the East Coast beaches - Jones Beach, Orchard Beach & Provincetown in Cape Cod. Okay maybe it looked a little more like Race Point in Cape Cod & less like Orchard Beach in The Bronx, but my point is that it was relaxing & familiar & I loved it!

I was on a beach, I was happy. I was in California, but it could have been anywhere that I wanted it to be and of course my accessories were in tact.

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Suburbia & My Discontents

I started to question myself when one of my friends called my nyc2suburbia Blog a "bitch fest." I found it rather ironic because one of our strongest bonds is bitching about everything & I think they win this one over me, hahaa!!! But the comment did get me thinking if that was "my voice" in my Blog? I've repeatedly analyzed my resistance to Suburbia & negative attitude towards it, therapy does have it's rewards! Sorry if I have offended any of you, but I am expressing MY feelings & MY issues. Some people bitch, complain & "like" non stop on Facebook, I do most of it here in my Blog.

My theory is Suburbia represents conformity & I have always hated to conform rebelling in one way or the other. There's another layer to this though... it's because I'm getting older. I feel like I'm giving up on myself & many of my dreams by trying to "settle in" & be just like everybody else!!! This has never worked for me in my entire life, why would it work now?  

As I continue my self analyzation, I am realizing what is important to me & who is important to me. Shopping in large department or box stores is NOT important to me. Eating dinner at five or six does NOT work for me. Being surrounded by nature is NOT that important to me, & by nature I mean country - mountains, animals, bugs. I am a Neurotic Native New Yorker, gimme a break with the trails & the hikes & the "PC" BS! I'm all for "natural" products, but there IS hair color & make up. Casual clothing can look & feel great, but NOT Hawaiian shirts, shorts or cargos & flip flops at night time!!! Okay,okay, breathe in the positive, breathe out the negative. Phewww! 

What is MOST important to me is knowing that I am where I want to be & can survive independently... now or ten years from now. Many of you who have not been to NYC may not believe it, but for me, NYC really has a small town feel with all of its different neighborhoods being their own "town." All are walkable & have many forms of public transportation to get around - not solely dependent on driving a car. It's just more convenient & easier to meet up with friends & even see familiar faces on the streets, because there are streets & you can walk! There are always places open that you can go to at almost anytime of the night... & let's not forget about real theatre, only in NYC. I have Broadway withdrawal & I need my fix!

So, I've come to the realization that I don't agree with the Suburban attitude. I have tried for some time, but my heart, soul & energy is pure NYC - the city that never sleeps & loathes conformity... just like me!

My goal is to move back somehow, someway, someday & return home as soon as I can. I've repeatedly tried clicking my heels, but it's still not working. Where's Glinda when you need her? Oh, that's right... she's in NYC on Broadway!

Happy Days Are Here Again - Barbra at 70 !

To celebrate Barbra Streisand's 70th Birthday, I am reposting my most popular blog entry. The story was of me actually winning a contest to meet Hello Gorgeous, Barbra, The Greatest Star! I was so impressed with the outpour of love for Barbra & also for me on winning. I was overwhelmed with good wishes sent to me for my then upcoming wedding! My Blog was read & shared by people from ALL OVER THE WORLD... OMG, who wouldda thought?!

I've updated it slightly & added some photos & videos of my Mama saying hello to Barbra & singing her birthday greetings. Mama is a hoot & there's even a new blog about us dealing with her Dementia called "Dementia-Mama-Drama", check it out. I do hope you enjoy reading my once in a lifetime experience & the updated version... Happy Birthday Barbra & Thanks Again! You were a delight.

So what do you do when you finally get a chance to meet a celebrity you've admired your entire life? I am not a fanatic, but Barbra's career has been important & meaningful to me ever since I can recall. Lines from her movies & songs are a part of my daily vocabulary. "Don't tell me not to live just sit & putter..."

I have a connection to her through her work, since that has been the extent of it. I was never fortunate enough to see (or been able to afford) one of her rare live concerts. We both are from New York & have a similar rhythm that comes from being native New Yorkers. I learned to question things & see things differently because she made me aware of these options at a very young age, so I am forever grateful to her for that. "Papa, can you hear me? Try to understand me..."

As you may have read in my previous post, I won a contest through Sony Records to coincide with the release of Barbra's latest recording "What Matters Most". It was called The Barbra Streisand Flyaway Sweepstakes & I was chosen to meet Barbra Streisand in Vegas on the set of her latest movie - "My Mother's Curse". There was ONE winner & it was ME!!! OMG! "It's gonna be a great day..."

(Since then the film has been retitled "The Guilt Trip" & the release date has been changed to November 2012).

Sooooooooo, what the hell do you say to an icon when you finally get to meet them? I had a list of things I would say, but I was just overwhelmed with emotion & was not able to do my "checklist". The first glimpse I caught of her is when she appeared on the set. I was about 20 feet away from her & I could not believe I was actually watching Barbra shooting a scene & I was gonna meet her in a few minutes. My armpits were wet, my mouth was dry, my lips were tense & I was doing my deep breathing to help calm me down for what seemed like an eternity. "There are moments you remember all your life. There are moments you wait for and dream of all your life. This is one of those moments..."



During a break in the filming, she looked my way & rushed towards me, almost tripping over the velvet rope pointing & saying - "Ohhhhh, you must be the winner!" & she extended her hand towards me. Holy shit!!! She came towards ME & spoke to ME. (And yes her hands were incredibly soft "like butter"). I was almost at a loss for words, which is a first for those of you that know me. I introduced myself & she was "sweet as pie" to me. We talked about her upcoming album, I told her I enjoyed one of the cuts, she asked which one & I hummed a few lines. (I hummed to Barbra)! OMG!!! I wished her Mazel Tov on the success of her yet to be released CD. When I told her that SHE was my first wedding gift, she looked at me like - whaddya tawkin' 'bout, kid? I explained that my partner of many years & I will finally be "allowed" to get married & we were returning to NYC to do it! She then wished us lots of luck & said that it was "about time" & how happy she was for us. She immediately asked her photographer to take our pictures (she was truly excited for us), but he suggested to shoot on the set, since the lighting was better. We walked over to the set together, which was in Caesar's Palace lobby in Las Vegas. I said "Wait a minute, I wanna get my good side". She looked at me & said "Which is your good side"? I said "you tell me, you're the director". She laughed. OMG! I made Barbra Streisand laugh AND congratulate me all within a few minutes. She was so warm, engaging & real. 

After the photo shoot, she told me to ..."stick around for as long as I want to...". Wow!!! She liked me, she really liked me! But I was thinking -  "Nicky Arnstein, Nicky Arnstein... I'll never see her again." NOT true, I was on & off the set for the rest of the night & was even asked if I wanted to be in a scene taking place at the slot machines (OMG, yesss)! 

Somewhere in between all that, I had gathered up the courage to ask if I could get some vintage magazines autographed that I had brought with me. She not only personally signed them, she signed them in the specific color markers I requested!!! WTF? "Extra, extra I'm in love. I'm gonna thank my lucky stars above..."

At the end of the night, which slowly turned into early morning, I was exhausted. I was leaving the set when Barbra's publicist asked "are you leaving already"? I said it's really late & it was a full day for me, BUT if Barbra wants to have a glass of champagne when she wraps filming, I'll head back downstairs immediately!!! The anticipation, the preparation, the planning, the traveling, the uncertaintly, the meeting, the conversation, the photos, the laughter, all "the memories" made it truly a once in a lifetime experience & I knew that I was extremely lucky. I mean "How lucky can you get?" And as Barbra said in "Yentl"... "Nothing is impossible". She was right... once again!

Women's Conference in Suburbia as Told by a NYC Man

Vin & Patricia V. Davis

I was very honored that a former teacher, Patricia V. Davis, author of "The Diva Doctrine" & President of Harper Davis Publishers invited me to be a guest blogger & interviewer at "The Women's Power Strategy Conference." My first thought was I wouldn't fit in...  I'm a man & a displaced New Yorker who blogs about nyc2suburbia! Well I was wrong, not that I am a man, but that I certainly did fit in. It was a day full of panels, presentations & vendors (oh yeah & a pretty darn good lunch). I thought I'd be the only man, but I wasn't. The goal of the event to "educate, inspire & believe in your own talent & potential" was Universal. We all feel isolated, displaced or lost in one way or another at some point in our lives. We all struggle to fit in, find happiness, contentment & hopefully find ourselves in the process!

Joe Klocek, one of the moderators & honorees, is a friendly, outgoing comedian who likes to call himself "a square peg in a round hole." We got along right away, after all, remember I AM a displaced New Yorker living in Suburbia ~ so I asked Joe why he left the Midwest to live in San Francisco. He told me he moved with his family but would have left eventually, Suburbia wasn't his thing.

I was curious what's the difference between playing to an audience in a City as compared to Suburbia. Joe said that in the City he can be more aggressive, less "safe" with his material & express opinions more freely. Wow - my sentiments exactly! He said San Francisco is very PC & intelligent & that they usually take a beat or two to react to jokes ~ thinking whether or not it is PC to laugh. I find this so true whenever attending theatre in SF & now I know the reason!

My last question for Joe was "is there a joke that can't loose anywhere... Suburbia OR the City?" He looked at me with a perfectly straight face & said you always get laughs anywhere with dick jokes. He was right again ~ I cracked up. You can visit Joe at www.standupjoe.com

Listening & Writing & Tweeting - Oh My!

I was very interested in interviewing Niko Volonakis, who is a very creative independent filmmaker, writer, actor & composer. Wow, talk about a Renaissance Man! What grabbed me most about Niko was his film titled "Hate Your City." I related to this immediately since I am a displaced New Yorker & I write about how challenging it is for me "Surviving Suburbia". I wouldn't say "I Hate Suburbia" but you can see the analogy & I try not to use the word hate. I hate that, don't you? I just hate when people hate. (Okay, I got a chuckle outta that!) Niko was busy most of the day taking photos & multitasking, plus he was on a panel, so our time together was very limited. You can visit his site vimeo.com/nikovolonakis & check out his work.

Listening to Jennifer Gennari, a writer & speaker, was very touching. She was promoting her book "My Mixed-Up Berry Blue Summer" about bullying. She explained that bullying can stop by just stepping in & that we should all do our part. After all, who wasn't bullied as a kid? Remember how awful you felt? I certainly do! I don't know how I survived it, but suicide never entered my mind! I was a "triple threat" when it came to bullying... I was Fat, I was Gay & I disliked sports! I know some of you may think "Oh, he can sing, dance & act!" (Sorry, I gotta keep myself amused!) Jenn explained that you need to be assertive & stand up for yourself, but that being different can make you a target. We should all have the courage to be ourselves, "it's okay to be different." Brava Jen! Check out her site www.jengennari.com.

Patricia V. Davis & Malissa Feruzzi Shriver

The Keynote Speaker was Malissa Feruzzi Shriver, who is a California Arts Council Chair & Founder of Feruzzi Fine Art. From the moment she started speaking I was impressed & felt a kinship. She shared many personal experiences that most of us have felt at one time or another ~ not being quite good enough, the need to please & the need to be loved for being ourselves. She always questioned what people were thinking of her & felt "outside of herself". She was fat as a child & had eating disorders later in life. She was able to rid herself of her self doubt many years later. Malissa's advice was to "take risks & be brave, being brave pays off in life." She suggests to do something everyday that scares you.

I was amazed at how honest & open she was in telling her story. Her story is about being vulnerable & about her healing. She was inspiring to me & I felt like she was telling my story. Starting out as a fat kid with an Italian background, to becoming an artist/designer, to wanting to be loved/accepted & even now as I am still trying to "fit in" Suburbia. Oy, does it ever stop?

Malissa was also promoting a great program of The California Arts Council which is a joint project with The Department of Motor Vehicles called Art Plates (see photo) & was designed to solely benefit the Arts in schools. The website can be found at http://www.artsplate.org. Thank you, Malissa!

I met & spoke to many interesting & talented people at The Convention, too many to mention, but a special shout out to Evan Bailyn, Vicki Larson & Hyla Molander. What a great group of people! And lest I forget, the very supportive Patricia V. Davis whose site can found at www.patriciavdavis.com.

At the end of the day, even though I am a New Yorker, I was not displaced & I fit in this Suburban Event. Being a Man at The Women's Power Strategy Conference was just secondary... it was jam packed with Universal messages for all. Who knew???

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Mama Meets Minnelli - Happy Birthday LIZA !

There are certain things in your life that you never forget. The first time I met Liza Minnelli was one of them. It was so unlike meeting Barbra Streisand because that meeting was by winning a contest. I thought what the heck, I'll enter it... what are my chances of winning - but I DID win! However meeting Liza was even more special for me for the reason that it epitomizes the NYC experience that I miss. It was a chance meeting on the street, no contest, no anticipation, just a typical day in NYC!

My partner & I were walking on Hudson Street in the West Village to visit Mama at the Village Nursing Home. As we were walking past a Thai restaurant this animated woman caught the corner of my eye & I slowed down. Could it be? No way? Is it? OMG, it is!!! I said to my partner, there's Liza Minnelli! Slow down, stop & listen to me. He continued to walk & looked at me like I was nuts! I glared directly into his eyes & told him to go back to our apartment quickly, get the camera, a red marker & the Liza "Gently" CD. I must've looked possessed, because he quickly followed my instructions. I continued to "casually" walk across 12th Street to get Mama sitting on a bench outside the nursing home. I told her she had to get up quickly & walk to the corner so that she could meet Liza Minnelli. Well, I never saw Mama walk so fast with her walker. My partner returned & the three of us are now strolling by the restaurant & realize that Liza is now standing directly in front of us on the street smoking a cigarette. WTF? Liza is in our way & she's smoking a cigarette! Vin with a Z is taking Anna with a Z to meet Liza with a Z. We are Z'd to the max!

Lightly tapping her on her shoulder, I introduced us to the one & only inimitable Liza. She was gracious, she was cordial, she signed the CD, she smiled & posed for a few pictures with us & she hugged us all. Liza kept talking & talking almost as if we had known her for years, just like you may expect Liza to do. She even called me "Daddy", since my name is Vincent, like her father, Vincente Minnelli. She made my day, but more importantly she made my mothers day! It was such a memorable meeting, that even though Mama has dementia, she still has never forgotten that day. She keeps the photo taken of the four of us by her bedside in the nursing home. I reminded Liza of the incident upon running into her a few years later & she was very touched by it. I have a bond with Liza & it goes back to my childhood. The edited version is I always thought she was my half sister since I was convinced Judy Garland was my real mother (that is another story I will share at a later date).

Meeting Liza was an unforgettable experience, one that meant a lot to Mama & I am eternally grateful to Liza for that chance meeting on a NYC street. Until this day Mama still recalls the incident fondly... So Happy Birthday LIZA! May you continue to bring joy & share your love even with "strangers on the street". You are one talented, generous Dame... so enjoy your birthday & know how much you are loved!

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Getting Dirty in Calistoga

I have never liked getting dirty ever since I was a child. I was never one to play in dirt, never fascinated with bugs or trucks. In fact if I got my hands dirty while eating or in any activity, I would scream..."Mommy, Mommy dirty" & demand to change into another outfit. Not much has changed since then, except I don't call for Mommy & it takes longer to pull an outfit together!

As you could imagine, going to Calistoga & experiencing a mud bath was gonna be a very different & challenging lesson for me. I had friends visiting from NYC (yeahh) & it was something we all thought was gonna be a new adventure, so why not?

I was actually the least apprehensive about doing it & was only slightly anxious. Which for me is also a new experience, I usually feel anxiety to the max! It was a totally new thing for me to do on so many levels. I needed the relaxation & boy did it work! The down side to it was I kept thinking about Whitney during her final hours in a bathtub (I lean toward the dramatic) & didn't want a repeat performance... but other than that, I felt calm & relaxed. I really had nothing to compare it to, after all mud baths in NYC are not typical.  

Okay, so the city boy tried a down & dirty new experience & liked it, not that I haven't tried others before... but that's another story & not appropriate at this time! I'm not sure what my point was except maybe sometimes ya gotta get a lil' dirty to feel really good. Thank God I didn't have to clean out the mud bath tub, I can't let go of all my neurosis in one day!

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