Not So Funny ... Girl, I Need People !

I was googling & stumbled on a piece of dialogue from "Funny Girl" about the differences in people & it got me thinking... uh oh!

Nick: I like to feel free.

Fanny: You can get lonesome being that free. 

Nick: You can get lonesome being that busy.

OMG, is there a difference between being free & feeling lonesome, or being busy & feeling lonesome? Hmmmm, you can be lonely anyplace. As for me, being free or being busy, I am lonely in Suburbia, but I never felt lonely in NYC. There's a difference between living a slow relaxed pace here & living a desolate life.

While living in NYC I was constantly surrounded with energy, something was always happening. Most locals were jaded by it all, but I was like a kid in a candy store that just thrived. I loved it... the crowds, the tall buildings, the Highline, the Hudson River Park, Central Park, Broadway Shows, the movies being filmed, the restaurants, the neighborhoods, the diversity!!! Ahhhhhh, LIFE! Cést si bon.

Anyway, I thought moving to Suburbia would be more relaxing for me & would be a change for the better. It turns out I was dead wrong... as in dead quiet... as in there aren't even sidewalks to roll up & forget about eating out after 8 pm. Okay, there are a few sidewalks, but hardly anyone walks on them. I miss walking on the sidewalks of NYC & the constant interaction with people. It's a car community here & they drive everywhere. There is a drive thru for everything from cleaners to fast food to pharmacies... They do "hike" out here, but they hardly ever walk! 

The relaxing vibe I thought I was looking for out in Suburbia has become my enemy. The morning crows that wake me are like a knife thru my heart... I prefer the occasional city car alarm going off. At least ya know someone is out there. The sound of a crowd of crazy crickets at night are more annoying to me than any sound of club music reverberating thru the neighborhood from a night club. Would you rather dance to J Lo in the background or crazy crickets trying to get laid?

The scenery in Suburbia is beautiful, but so was the view from our rooftop over the Hudson... even if the West view was the Jersey skyline, where the chemicals create intense lovely sunsets. So my point is that the grass may always be greener, but sometimes green is not what you need, perhaps it's just "People." And I am one of those people who need people.

" Kharma Could Bite You in the Ass " In Suburbia

This post is about Kharma, you know,"present actions determine their destiny for future existence" or "what goes around comes around". Or maybe it's just a theme in my life that keeps repeating until I learn the lesson? I dunno, anyway as you may remember from my last post I am a city child & was not exposed to many bugs or wildlife. (Okay, maybe a cockroach or two or some crazy "wildlife" on the subway). I never liked getting dirty & if I ever got food on my clothes I would change my entire outfit (well, some things never change).  

When I was living in NYC I was enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training & Certification Program. One of the requirements needed to get my teaching degree was to go to a retreat at an Ashram in Upstate New York. It was only an hour away from NYC, but seemed like a world away to me. I was terrified of going for a long weekend to the country for the "natural" experience. The name of the Ashram meant "Bliss", but for me, it meant "Misery". I almost backed out at the last minute, but I was determined to conquer my fears & go with the flow. Haaa - famous last words!

I do not or cannot go to fancy five star resorts, but upon arriving at the Ashram I knew this was really, really rustic, with a capital R! It looked like a cliché - musty, dusty & way too funky! There were cobwebs, bugs, deer, geese, bear, no air conditioning, poor plumbing & shared bedrooms with shared baths! The schedule was early to bed, early to rise, lots of studying, training, teaching & helping with our Kharmic Yoga duties around the Ashram. The cafeteria style food was only Vegan (of course) which was served in a communal room near our cabins.

One day, we actually had one hour to ourselves after breakfast, so I darted back to the cabin to shower & try to compose myself. I also had to use the bathroom really bad! Walking alone hesitantly down the dirt path in the woods back towards the cabin, I noticed a large deer standing right at the front door blocking me. Oh shit... what was I gonna do? I looked around & also saw a baby deer nearby. Uh oh, I knew I was in trouble, so I hid behind a bush. I called a friend on my cell phone & asked for help - as if they could help me in the woods!!! (BTW, phones were NOT allowed for the entire retreat). After many failed attempts to get in that door by jingling my keys & making sounds, the deer casually made an exit. I charged into the cabin in a sweat, swearing I would never return to the country again. This is soooo NOT for me!

Fast forward & here I am living in Suburbia amongst wildlife being surrounded by all my fears! Am I a masochist or just a verrry slow learner? I shouldda learned from that experience that I am STILL not a country boy... maybe that was my lesson. Or maybe it's Kharma biting me in the ass, just like a goose bit me in the ass as a child when it tried to grab my Oreo. But that's another story!

Relaxing in Suburbia ... Not for me !

I was walking up to soak in the jacuzzi for my aching back. I needed to relax & I was in pain. Sometimes my only relief comes from soaking in the jacuzzi for a few restful minutes. Okay, so hopefully there won't be any deer, coyotes, killer crows or a ton of spiders with their enormous webs that I'll encounter on the way to my oasis.

I relaxed in the jacuzzi for a few minutes & felt somewhat relieved. The vibrating heated water was doing its thing! Thank God!!! As I start to get out, I see a bee on my arm! I scream & try to get it off my arm - calmly!!! Ha, that's a laugh, I am hardly ever calm especially around animals out in the wild. And yes a bee is a wild animal to me (I even have a cousin who let go of her baby carriage because a wild bee was after her)! My entire body tensed, I was no longer relaxed. I repeatedly cursed & retreated back in the jacuzzi trying to flee from this bee who wanted me badly. I slowly got out of the jacuzzi & almost fell back in when another bee was on my back! WTF? I try to put one flip flop on & hobble trying to swat the killer bees & cover the jacuzzi all at the same time.

BTW, there were two elderly ladies lounging by the pool. I think they thought I was possessed or crazy as I left the jacuzzi area cursing & hobbling. I ran out of there, barely replacing the jacuzzi cover, I was tensed up again, in pain, soaking wet & I started to laugh out loud. Once again down the path this terrified city guy was on guard for the "lions & tigers & bears" of Suburbia. I was in as much pain as before I started. Ahhh, the joys of relaxing in Suburbia... really? Whatta joke - not for me!

Thanks for visiting & please spread the word. "Follow" me already! Whaddya waitin' for? 

Facebook - facebook.com/nyc2suburbia 
Twitter - twitter.com/nyc2suburbia

Birthdays & Surprises in NYC

So much for surprises! I was finally leaving Suburbia to go back home to NYC for a visit! Yeahhhhh... I thought it would've been fun to surprise a few friends for their big "special" birthdays. Boy, was I wrong - very, very wrong.

After booking the trip, I found out one of our friends was leaving town to celebrate her birthday in Florida. Then, my best friend was leaving town to celebrate his birthday in Rhode Island! I became paranoid & neurotic. This was not the plan! What do I do now? I didn't want to over analyze the situation, but perhaps my friend wasn't placing as much importance on his birthday as I was? Ok, ok... I'm thinking too much. But then again I used all my reward miles to make the trip.

In addition to this, I was needing my Broadway fix & one of the shows on my list was "Evita" with Ricky Martin & HE was even leaving town to film for a few days. (Ok, now I just don't know what's going on. WTF?) Oh, did I mention that another good friend was leaving the East Coast to visit a friend on the West Coast - thank  God we were gonna be able to catch him for at least a drink before he left!

So, maybe the lesson to learn from this trip is to see what it's like to be back home in NYC without most of our friends. Yeah, that's it. Well, ya deal with it. We booked three shows & no matter what, we can have a few drinks & NOT have to drive. We'll be able to see other friends that work in our favorite restaurants & we're "home" dammit! It's Summertime in the Big Apple - Hot & Humid! 

I know it was a very last minute decision, & we'll have another new experience, yet I feel somewhat guilty that we didn't tell anyone we're back in NYC. But, wow, a new experience in our old town. Broadway, bright lights, late nite restaurants, walking... NO driving! Sounds pretty darn good to me! I did get a surprise though... we managed to get tickets to see Ricky Martin in "Evita" in his final show before his vacation. A surprise? I think not, for me anything is possible in NYC!!!

"Whatta Load" at Home Depot

So, I was in the outdoor section of Home Depot the other day (I start a lot of my blog entries as if I'm telling a joke), but for those who know me... it IS a joke that this city guy is actually living in suburbia. I have learned to laugh at myself a lot & would like to share this with you.

Okay, so like I was saying, I was at the outdoor section of Home Depot & was strolling leisurely looking at the plants & flowers. There are a lot of birds & they are not the cute little chirping birds - they are prehistoric killers! They are big, loud & frightening. (Oh, did I say I have a phobia with birds?) Minor detail, but yes I have a phobia with birds. Okay, breathe & focus on the pretty flowers. I am bigger than the birds. I will be brave & overcome this fear. La-de-da here I am admiring the flowers when BAM!!! A bird swooped down & smacked me on the back of my head. I screamed, left the cart & ran inside.

I find my husband in the store & tell him what happened. Of course he laughs & says go back outside & get the cart so we can leave. I tell him "NO WAY"-  you get the cart. He wants to leave, so he goes outside & I unwillingly follow behind him watching the birds circle for their next victim. As he gets the cart & makes his way back to the inside of the store, WAIT FOR IT... a bird swoops down & smacks him!!! Hahahhaaa, I am hysterical, coz he didn't believe me & now it happened to him. OMG, I think I just wet myself thinking about it! Sorry, too much information.

As if the entire scenario so far is not enough reason for a double martini, I gather myself inside as we look at one final item. BTW,  I am wearing an off white jacket, off white jeans & a white tee shirt. We are in the aisle finishing up our browsing & I begin to hear some action above us. You got it, there are more birds INSIDE! Really? WTF??? I cannot believe it. Okay, okay, so I take a few steps back to look at the selection on the shelf & just as I moved backward two steps, this really loud disgusting plop lands where I was standing & just missed me. Get it? This big bad bird was aiming his business at me & would've gotten his target had I not moved. It was a large & loud load - I didn't think that could come out of a bird! Two of the store clerks asked if we were okay & said that they never saw or heard anything like that before... they couldn't believe what a dump! We left the store after finally catching our breath & trying to gather my last bit of dignity.

For me, Home Depot will never be the same & I think of it every time I shop at the store. City boy confronting fears? Sounds like a load of sh** to me. And yes, I had a double martini when I got home.

Thanks for visiting, spread the word about my blog & "Follow" me already! Please leave your comments... Whaddya waitin' for?  

Follow me on Twitter  - https://twitter.com/#!/nyc2suburbia  

"Like" me on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/nyc2suburbia

My First Beach in California

Most of my East Coast friends have a preconceived idea about California. California, ALL of California, is full of palm trees, nonstop sunshine, warm weather & many other clichés that go with it. Well some of them are true, but...

I have been living in a suburb of Northern California (near San Francisco) for almost three years & the weather (for me) is not that much different from NYC. I still wear scarves & gloves, but it's more of a fashion accessory - besides it's a car culture! Seriously, there are differences, but both climates are similar to me... a little thing called global warming, ya know. There are many micro climates & the temperature does fluctuate from the morning until the night. There are frosts, freezing cold days & snow only in the mountains. There aren't many humid days, but we do have them occasionally. I still complain that it gets cold here & how could it? After all, I am in California!!!

I am happy to say I finally did go to a beach recently. My first beach experience since living out here! I knew there were beaches, but I was starting to ask where do they hide them? We took a ride to Stinson Beach riding upon the winding roads that eventually lead you to the beach. Wow! My first California beach! It was beautiful & just a little chilly. I almost felt as if I was back home with my memories of the East Coast beaches - Jones Beach, Orchard Beach & Provincetown in Cape Cod. Okay maybe it looked a little more like Race Point in Cape Cod & less like Orchard Beach in The Bronx, but my point is that it was relaxing & familiar & I loved it!

I was on a beach, I was happy. I was in California, but it could have been anywhere that I wanted it to be and of course my accessories were in tact.

Thanks for visiting, spread the word about my blog & "Follow" me already! Feel free to leave your comments... Whaddya waitin' for?  

Follow me on Twitter  - https://twitter.com/#!/nyc2suburbia  

"Like" me on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/nyc2suburbia

Suburbia & My Discontents

I started to question myself when one of my friends called my nyc2suburbia Blog a "bitch fest." I found it rather ironic because one of our strongest bonds is bitching about everything & I think they win this one over me, hahaa!!! But the comment did get me thinking if that was "my voice" in my Blog? I've repeatedly analyzed my resistance to Suburbia & negative attitude towards it, therapy does have it's rewards! Sorry if I have offended any of you, but I am expressing MY feelings & MY issues. Some people bitch, complain & "like" non stop on Facebook, I do most of it here in my Blog.

My theory is Suburbia represents conformity & I have always hated to conform rebelling in one way or the other. There's another layer to this though... it's because I'm getting older. I feel like I'm giving up on myself & many of my dreams by trying to "settle in" & be just like everybody else!!! This has never worked for me in my entire life, why would it work now?  

As I continue my self analyzation, I am realizing what is important to me & who is important to me. Shopping in large department or box stores is NOT important to me. Eating dinner at five or six does NOT work for me. Being surrounded by nature is NOT that important to me, & by nature I mean country - mountains, animals, bugs. I am a Neurotic Native New Yorker, gimme a break with the trails & the hikes & the "PC" BS! I'm all for "natural" products, but there IS hair color & make up. Casual clothing can look & feel great, but NOT Hawaiian shirts, shorts or cargos & flip flops at night time!!! Okay,okay, breathe in the positive, breathe out the negative. Phewww! 

What is MOST important to me is knowing that I am where I want to be & can survive independently... now or ten years from now. Many of you who have not been to NYC may not believe it, but for me, NYC really has a small town feel with all of its different neighborhoods being their own "town." All are walkable & have many forms of public transportation to get around - not solely dependent on driving a car. It's just more convenient & easier to meet up with friends & even see familiar faces on the streets, because there are streets & you can walk! There are always places open that you can go to at almost anytime of the night... & let's not forget about real theatre, only in NYC. I have Broadway withdrawal & I need my fix!

So, I've come to the realization that I don't agree with the Suburban attitude. I have tried for some time, but my heart, soul & energy is pure NYC - the city that never sleeps & loathes conformity... just like me!

My goal is to move back somehow, someway, someday & return home as soon as I can. I've repeatedly tried clicking my heels, but it's still not working. Where's Glinda when you need her? Oh, that's right... she's in NYC on Broadway!

Happy Days Are Here Again - Barbra at 70 !

To celebrate Barbra Streisand's 70th Birthday, I am reposting my most popular blog entry. The story was of me actually winning a contest to meet Hello Gorgeous, Barbra, The Greatest Star! I was so impressed with the outpour of love for Barbra & also for me on winning. I was overwhelmed with good wishes sent to me for my then upcoming wedding! My Blog was read & shared by people from ALL OVER THE WORLD... OMG, who wouldda thought?!

I've updated it slightly & added some photos & videos of my Mama saying hello to Barbra & singing her birthday greetings. Mama is a hoot & there's even a new blog about us dealing with her Dementia called "Dementia-Mama-Drama", check it out. I do hope you enjoy reading my once in a lifetime experience & the updated version... Happy Birthday Barbra & Thanks Again! You were a delight.

So what do you do when you finally get a chance to meet a celebrity you've admired your entire life? I am not a fanatic, but Barbra's career has been important & meaningful to me ever since I can recall. Lines from her movies & songs are a part of my daily vocabulary. "Don't tell me not to live just sit & putter..."

I have a connection to her through her work, since that has been the extent of it. I was never fortunate enough to see (or been able to afford) one of her rare live concerts. We both are from New York & have a similar rhythm that comes from being native New Yorkers. I learned to question things & see things differently because she made me aware of these options at a very young age, so I am forever grateful to her for that. "Papa, can you hear me? Try to understand me..."

As you may have read in my previous post, I won a contest through Sony Records to coincide with the release of Barbra's latest recording "What Matters Most". It was called The Barbra Streisand Flyaway Sweepstakes & I was chosen to meet Barbra Streisand in Vegas on the set of her latest movie - "My Mother's Curse". There was ONE winner & it was ME!!! OMG! "It's gonna be a great day..."

(Since then the film has been retitled "The Guilt Trip" & the release date has been changed to November 2012).

Sooooooooo, what the hell do you say to an icon when you finally get to meet them? I had a list of things I would say, but I was just overwhelmed with emotion & was not able to do my "checklist". The first glimpse I caught of her is when she appeared on the set. I was about 20 feet away from her & I could not believe I was actually watching Barbra shooting a scene & I was gonna meet her in a few minutes. My armpits were wet, my mouth was dry, my lips were tense & I was doing my deep breathing to help calm me down for what seemed like an eternity. "There are moments you remember all your life. There are moments you wait for and dream of all your life. This is one of those moments..."



During a break in the filming, she looked my way & rushed towards me, almost tripping over the velvet rope pointing & saying - "Ohhhhh, you must be the winner!" & she extended her hand towards me. Holy shit!!! She came towards ME & spoke to ME. (And yes her hands were incredibly soft "like butter"). I was almost at a loss for words, which is a first for those of you that know me. I introduced myself & she was "sweet as pie" to me. We talked about her upcoming album, I told her I enjoyed one of the cuts, she asked which one & I hummed a few lines. (I hummed to Barbra)! OMG!!! I wished her Mazel Tov on the success of her yet to be released CD. When I told her that SHE was my first wedding gift, she looked at me like - whaddya tawkin' 'bout, kid? I explained that my partner of many years & I will finally be "allowed" to get married & we were returning to NYC to do it! She then wished us lots of luck & said that it was "about time" & how happy she was for us. She immediately asked her photographer to take our pictures (she was truly excited for us), but he suggested to shoot on the set, since the lighting was better. We walked over to the set together, which was in Caesar's Palace lobby in Las Vegas. I said "Wait a minute, I wanna get my good side". She looked at me & said "Which is your good side"? I said "you tell me, you're the director". She laughed. OMG! I made Barbra Streisand laugh AND congratulate me all within a few minutes. She was so warm, engaging & real. 

After the photo shoot, she told me to ..."stick around for as long as I want to...". Wow!!! She liked me, she really liked me! But I was thinking -  "Nicky Arnstein, Nicky Arnstein... I'll never see her again." NOT true, I was on & off the set for the rest of the night & was even asked if I wanted to be in a scene taking place at the slot machines (OMG, yesss)! 

Somewhere in between all that, I had gathered up the courage to ask if I could get some vintage magazines autographed that I had brought with me. She not only personally signed them, she signed them in the specific color markers I requested!!! WTF? "Extra, extra I'm in love. I'm gonna thank my lucky stars above..."

At the end of the night, which slowly turned into early morning, I was exhausted. I was leaving the set when Barbra's publicist asked "are you leaving already"? I said it's really late & it was a full day for me, BUT if Barbra wants to have a glass of champagne when she wraps filming, I'll head back downstairs immediately!!! The anticipation, the preparation, the planning, the traveling, the uncertaintly, the meeting, the conversation, the photos, the laughter, all "the memories" made it truly a once in a lifetime experience & I knew that I was extremely lucky. I mean "How lucky can you get?" And as Barbra said in "Yentl"... "Nothing is impossible". She was right... once again!