What's Love Got To Do With It?

It's that time of year again - Valentine's Day. It's my favorite holiday, except for my birthday which is not a "holiday" but I still celebrate it for weeks!

Valentine's Day has always meant a lot to me because it's the one time of year that we all get to acknowledge the people that we love & are important to us. Some people find Valentine's Day sappy or commercial, but I don't. For me, it's a day to celebrate caring, giving & sharing with those that are special to me in my life.


This year, Valentine's Day means even more to me because I am lucky enough to be in the city that I love, talk about, obsess about, pine over, compare to all others & miss - my true home... NYC!


Talking to some friends they suggest that since moving to Suburbia I may have over romanticized my love affair with NYC. I'm not so sure about that, but still it gave me something to think about (like I need MORE to think about)! Anyway, for me it reminds me of when you are dating someone & really look forward to that date. You are so excited about that date & want everything to go right, but there's always a little doubt that maybe it won't be as good as you're anticipating. I sometimes think perhaps my "date" with NYC will not go as well as I remember or plan & maybe our "relationship" may finally be over... but every time I'm here, it only gets better!


And speaking of getting better, this year my husband (that's right our first Valentine's Day being married) & I are renewing our vows in Times Square! Wow, so how's that for a date? What's Love Got To Do With It? Absolutely everything.


Thanks again for visiting my blog. Please feel free to leave your comments. Whaddya waitin' for? Please spread the word about my blog & "Follow" me already... 

Janis Joplin - "Pizza My Heart"

January 19th is Janis Joplin's birthday & she was one of my first "idols". I read everything about her & listened to her music for hours while annoying my parents. I admired her for her voice, her creativity, her honesty & for being so ahead of her time by thinking outside the box! And actually questioning "the box"... whatever the box is! I totally related to her feeling like an outsider, like many of us felt in school & this was before bullying was even a cause.

The ironic thing now is that I live near her last home (which was in Larkspur)... a beautiful suburban town with redwood trees not far from San Francisco - a city she loved. How she ever drove home in her psychedelic Porsche over the Golden Gate Bridge through the windy roads in Larkspur at night is a miracle!

Even though Janis has been gone for many years... her energy & her music still live. She has inspired many & a lot of us have learned from her "Get it While You Can" philosophy. The other day I passed by a pizza place called "Pizza My Heart" & that is when I realized I hadda write about Janis.

Janis... Happy Birthday & Keep on Rockin’! Who knows I may even take a short drive by your place & have a shot (or two) of Southern Comfort in celebration of your life - after the drive of course!

Thanks again for visiting my blog. Please feel free to leave your comments. Whaddya waitin' for? Please spread the word about my blog & "Follow" me already... Here's to an even more fabulous, positive New Year with lots of new beginnings for all of us!

Letting Go

Letting go is hard for me & probably for you, so I thought it may be an appropriate topic as my final blog entry for the year. How do we "let go" of things? What exactly is "letting go"? And is it really that hard to "let go"? Wow, lots of questions & a bit heavy.

As for me, I feel like a pit bull at times coz I don't "let go" of things... a thought, a problem, a grudge. Other times I'm like an elephant that never forgets. I may forgive to a degree, but I never forget. I have issues, we ALL have issues! I wish I had the ability to "let go" of all the negative crap & just "let it go", but it's a process - a long, challenging process. Even with my Yoga study & practice, I still have these problems... although they had no problems with letting me go! Oooops, there I go again - "let it go". Breathe in the positive & exhale the negative.

"Letting go" is also purging & getting rid of stuff... becoming detached from "things". That is also challenging for me coz I am so connected to my things & the memories that are attached to them. Perhaps its because my mother has dementia & I wanna hold onto my memories for as long as I can? Who knows, but hey...this is not my therapy session!

Then there's the final "letting go". I remember being there for my father & also for my mother-in-laws last minutes in this world. That was very difficult, but I am proud that I was able to be there & help them "let go".

Of course you know by now I've been at war with myself with my "letting go" process of leaving my home in NYC. I am sure many can relate to the "letting go" of the familiar. I guess my point is "letting go" is challenging & I could go on with my "letting go" theories & stories, but for now I shall just "let it go" and breathe... 

Thank you all for a great year & for visiting my blog. Please feel free to leave your comments. Whattya waitin' for? Please spread the word about my blog & "Follow" me already... Here's to an even more fabulous, positive New Year with lots of new beginnings for all of us!

Where Do I Go?

I feel as if I don't fit in anywhere anymore... Suburbia OR NYC! Where do I go? A great poignant song from "Hair" the Musical (which I toured with in Europe) still rings true to me. Where do I go? I like it here in Suburbia... to a point, but I feel trapped & unable to get around. I get lost & cannot find my bearings. It's not funny, I get lost easily. I have a very poor sense of direction - I always have. I have gotten lost in malls, in restaurants looking for the bathroom, in parking lots... seriously! It just ain't right. I have panic attacks & a daily dose of anxiety that can immobilize me. Suburbia is a nice place to visit... but somehow it still ain't my home. Where do I go?

Whenever I return to NYC, I'm afraid that it may not live up to my expectations & constant yearning to move back, because to me... it IS Oz! Could it be I am becoming a closeted Suburbanite! WTF? Where do I go? I dunno. Will the sound of the early morning garbage & delivery trucks annoy me or the people walking a slew of dogs or the baby strollers that are overtaking NYC sidewalks? Where do I go? I dunno! I feel as if I almost don't "fit" or "belong" in either place anymore. I return to NYC as often as possible... for my sanity! (No comments please). It takes awhile to readjust when returning to Suburbia, but there is no readjustment period when returning to NYC... I'm alive, full of energy & I know where the hell I am going!

Some say you can never go back home. That infuriates me & makes me wanna do it all the more! But whaddya do? Where do you go? I ask myself this question daily... a lot! I dunno, ..."but I'm not staying in burlesque, I'm moving. Maybe up, maybe down..." (BTW, that's a line from "Gypsy") coz my life IS  a movie (at least in my mind). It's not always a "Cabaret" but it's not gonna be "Lady Sings the Blues".


I will continue to question things daily & hopefully one day make peace & know where it is that I'm going. To me, it may be just knowing that I can walk outside my apartment & go to a store at midnight to get some ice cream while actually seeing people on the street. Sounds yummy to me!


Thanks again for visiting my blog & please feel free to leave your comments.Whattya waitin' for? I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon. Please spread the word about my blog & "Follow" me already...

White Picket Clichés

The grass is always greener. 

Look a little closer, perhaps it's just astro turf... ya never know!

You don't know what you have till it's gone. 

...What if you never had it?

Things were so much easier when I was younger. 

Yeah, the abacus is much easier to use than calculators or computers. 

Thank God It's Friday! 

No, thank God it's just another day, dammit. You're alive! So stop bitching about Monday, Hump Day... EVERY day is a blessing.

Long story short. 

Do people that say this EVER make it short? What they're really saying is, this is gonna be a longwinded & boring story, but if I trick you into thinking its short, you may listen! 

I'm getting ready for Monday. 

Seriously, how long does it take to "get ready" & why start whining about it on Saturday night? Enjoy & be in the moment. Look on the "bright side"... you could die before Monday morning!

Another day, another dollar. 

WTF? You could make a dollar just by cashing in some of those bottles of soda & beer you've been drinking! Just recycle!

Same shit, different day. 

I don't know about you, but my shit is different most days. The consistency (no pun intended) is that I must be "regular"! TMI... but I hadda go there.

Last, but not least. 

What does that mean? Is it EVER last? Maybe when presenting an award at an award show, but other than that... really?

I could go on with the list of clichés, but why bother? Enough people already do it on a daily basis, sometimes I do join in, usually not. I'd prefer to be surrounded by positive, creative people who question the way things are & think independently, not live by clichés.

 

The grass may be greener in Suburbia, but personally I am not an outdoorsy kinda guy. I don't like all the animals & creatures that are part of the package deal. Long story short, I am not gonna make excuses for who or what I am. Last but not least, I've come to the point in my life that I know what I like & know my priorities. So if at first you don't succeed... perhaps it's just time to try something new or move on. Try it, you'll like it - well  I've tried many things over the years & I learned a lot by trying them, but that doesn't mean I always liked them. You don't know what you have till it's gone, maybe because youth is wasted on the young. But, I can always be comforted in knowing that there's no place like home. Okay, it's time to move on from all these clichés. Besides, I'm getting ready for Monday... Thank God It's Friday! Oh, no it's NOT Friday, it's only Hump Day! arghhhhhhhhh. But tomorrow is Thanksgiving & I can already hear another round of clichés about to begin. 

Thanks again for visiting my blog & please feel free to leave your comments.Whattya waitin' for? I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon. Please spread the word about my blog & "Follow" me already... 

Just a Piece of Paper... or Is It?

Yes, a piece of paper can make a difference... in many different ways.

Didn't think it was possible, but my husband & I are more in love today because of a piece of paper. That piece of paper that "validated" our marriage, it made a difference. We never thought it would or that it could or that it even mattered, but it does. Odd that after being together for 17 years, who wouldda thought that a piece of paper could matter so much - it does! And just by signing a piece of paper, Gay Marriage became legal... in some places.

Receiving a card (just a piece of paper too) in the mail does make a difference. If you are celebrating a milestone, like a wedding or a birthday... it can make a world of difference. If you are old or alone & don't have many friends or family... a card, "a piece of paper" can bring a little joy or a smile to a face.

A piece of paper that you threw out that didn't make the garbage pail but hit the ground & blew away. Oh well, it's "just a piece of paper". Perhaps the pile of papers that you didn't recycle, but just threw in with the "regular" trash. Or what about that piece of paper that you threw out your car window? What you do with that piece of paper does make a difference. 

In many forms, literally... paper can make a difference, & that difference lies within each one of us. So if you hear a conversation about the legal rights of Gay Marriage & the "piece of paper" that comes with it, know that it DOES make a difference. Know that you CAN make a difference by mailing a card to someone that needs to be remembered & perhaps make their day. And finally know that you DO make a difference with that piece of paper that you just threw in the recycling bin.

So the next time you see a piece of paper... think of the possibilities, it ain't just a piece of paper.

Thanks again for visiting my blog & please feel free to leave your comments.Whattya waitin' for? I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon. Please spread the word about my blog & "Follow" me already... 

Breakdown/Breakthru/Breakout : Mini Makeover for me & My Blog

I think I had an epiphany or something like that. Ok, ok... I had an idea!

I always think people should reevaluate their lives & their looks. To rethink their lives & the same look they've had for years without questioning it. Keeping the same style of clothing, same hairstyle, same glasses, same makeup, same attitude. We as people are constantly changing (hopefully) & need to express that by not getting stuck in a comfortable rut! Most people are afraid of change & don't question things after awhile. I'm guilty of always changing & questioning everything - the complete opposite! I fear not being aware of what is currently going on in the world & being "outta touch" with modern civilization.

In previous blogs, I was "thinking" too much before just writing in my blog & trying to write what people may have expected, since my blog is called "NYC2Suburbia". Then I realized, what the hell am I doing? I have to be more of myself & the creative outspoken person that I am. I have to write about whatever is going on with me (within reason) & share it with you all. After all, THAT is what I do in my everyday life, as those of you who know me. Also I tend to "think outside the box" & as a result may have scattered thoughts. Hopefully they'll make sense to you. If not, skip over that thought until the next thought... that's what I've been doing for my entire life - especially when reading!!! I tend to lose focus with so many thoughts & my lack of attention (sounds like a therapy session now).

My first change has been the format of my blog & I'll continue to play with it till it feels right. I am a very visual person as you may know & I constantly change my style, so why not my blog? It is an extension of me, right? Right! So glad you agree. I will still complain about how I dislike Suburbia & how I love NYC, not New York... but New York City. They are entirely different and if I gotta explain that to ya, well then you've never lived in NYC!!! I am trying to adapt & adjust to Suburbia with somewhat of an "open mind", it is challenging for me, but I am trying to reevaluate our current situation. 

I will also be writing about things as they happen to me & not worry so much about the "perfect story". I realize there is no perfect story & if it's that interesting - like meeting a celebrity, getting married or moving, I can always add to it! What a novel idea? My words are not gonna be carved in perfect stone with the perfect typeface or perfect color! Some days I feel like crap & will wanna complain. Other days I may wanna share something wonderful & new I just discovered, so please join me for my journey. It may be a "bumpy ride", but that's life, baby! As of now I don't have a thousand followers YET, but when I do, they will be following me because they love my honesty & humor, & maybe even my bumpy ride or the color of my typeface!?! "Ya never know!" as Sally Bowles said in "Cabaret".


So if you are not "following" my blog yet & just check in occasionally... WHAT THE HELL are ya waiting for & why just be a VOYEUR? I know it can be fun sometimes, but ya gotta commit to this ride I'm on. Nothing lasts forever... you can always unfollow. Spread the word, talk about it, complain about it, but leave a comment! You can always comment anonymously but please comment, I LOVE feedback! Ya don't have to just say I love the story, I love the artwork, I wanna know what you think. I truly believe honesty is the only way to go, so if you love it, that's terrific, but all I want are your honest comments.


I know that I've done things to get approval or attention in my life & still do! But, I have started to realize that I need to do things for myself, not others. Its like in "The Wizard of Oz" when Dorothy realized she never had to go any further than her own backyard for happiness cause if its not there, you never really had it to begin with. Well, that's a bit heavy AND true! As many of you know I've been "clicking my heels" since moving to Suburbia & I now know that this doesn't have to be a life sentence, but merely a step to the next place I'm going. It may be NYC (I hope & pray) or it may be over the rainbow to somewhere even better than I have EVER been before. But as Scarlett said in "Gone with the Wind"... "I'll think about that tomorrow". It usually keeps the readers coming back for more anyway. Until then, enjoy the "new" me & my breakthrough!

Groomzillas vs. The Wedding Monster

I was planning on giving the full wedding report in this blog entry, but I've put too much pressure on myself & realized I have turned into a Gay Groomzilla & still have not returned to my normal self yet! So I will give a detailed report on my next entry, I promise... if only to share the experiences of what we went through getting ready for our marriage. The drama, the laughs, the detours, the fun, the sweat, the surprises, the horors, the crunch - all of it!

Don't give up on me, it was a lot to digest getting married after being together for 17 years & trying to plan it from across the country made it even more challenging! That plus being back home (in NYC) is always an emotional experience for me. In NYC, I am constantly being surrounded by life, energy & friends (all of which I adore), but this time I was super sensitive because of our pending wedding. Enter the Gay Groomzillas, still not sure who was worse (or better, depending on your point of view)!!!

Now some of you have asked when is the California party gonna take place, because originally our plan was to have another celebration out here also. In a "nutshell" it ain't gonna happen, but that's a whole 'nother story that we won't get into now. Our party was in NYC & it rocked, anything else would be a bad imitation & just pale in comparison. We're not the kind of people to sit around a table with place cards & not mingle or dance.  

Returning to Suburbia emotionally drains me, it takes me awhile to "re-adjust". I just get real down & move at a slower pace & continue to compare both places feeling caught in the middle. Once I'm back in Suburbia, I start planning my next return visit to NYC... & this is before we unpack & do laundry! This is my story, so I just want ya to know that I'm still trying to survive Suburbia with my Sanity, $ense & Style. Some days it just takes longer coz I may be a lot less sane & a lot more sensitive, but hopefully always keeping my style - after all, I am a married man now!  

"Our Wedding" Teaser Video

http://youtu.be/TQCMDfu0JoQ

Thanks again for visiting my blog & please feel free to leave your comments. I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon. Please spread the word about my blog & follow me.